For the Girl With My Mother’s Name

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He had been warned, repeatedly. Mother, Brother, Ex-lovers, he had met them all and they had all said the same thing. “She’s crazy.” What followed changed but always had the same point. Her mother, master of failed relationships, followed the “She’s crazy.” With, “Maybe you can change her.” It was the same as her friend’s advice, “Stay away man, don’t let her get too close if you do go for it.” Even her brother’s “You are the best guy she has ever dated.” They all screamed run. He didn’t take it to heart. His biggest concern was how close her name was to his mother’s. Continue reading “For the Girl With My Mother’s Name”

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The Internet Date

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I get really into things for a while and then I drop them completely. It’s no wonder I don’t have better relationships with women. When I discovered internet dating in all of its wonder and flippant chaos, I went at that shit like an eight year old with Pokémon, gotta date em all. While it’s a fun way to go broke between every paycheck and see bars in every neighborhood in the city, internet dating still is a haven for the same things the rest of the internet provides a haven to, weird shit you don’t see every day. For instance, once on a date with a wonderful girl, beautiful, smart enough to make me feel inferior, everything was going great. However, the oddity came out in the middle of our first bout of passionate fucking. Let’s just say her chest was drastically lopsided. Now there is nothing wrong with that, I am very well aware that breasts come in all shapes and sizes. I am even aware that many women, if not most women have some discrepancy between the size of their breasts. In fact, if it helps, my left testicle is bigger than my right. That all being said, I was still somewhat thrown off by the inequality of this girl’s bosom, but I am getting off track, this story is about a different girl altogether. My point is, much like this girls boobs, lopsided.

Continue reading “The Internet Date”